Harry Potter Book Series Parody: Five Liner!
by M.J. Lovegood
Summary: The HP books completely and utterly parodied with using only FIVE LINES not sentences lines per chapter. I'd love to continue, but I need feedback! I guarantee at least a giggle or your money back
1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

**Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 5 Liner**

I've seen fics similar to this, but I wanted to try my hand at it. I'm so so sorry its been so long since i've updated. I recently read through what I've done on these five-liners as well as the reviews and I got inspired so I thought I'd do some updating and (maybe) even keep going where I left off. HOWEVER, this means that you must let me know what you think if you want me to continue. Any who, I think it's worth a read - so enjoy! Oh yea and before I forget…

**DISCLAMER - Unfortunately I do not have rights to nor do I own Harry Potter. Wouldn't that be fun though?**

_And on with book 1…_

**Chapter 1- The Boy Who Lived**

Dumbledore: The most powerful bad guy on earth has been thwarted by an infant! Let us rejoice!

McGonagall: Yay.

Dumbledore: Now he must live with his emotionally abusive relatives who will lock him in a closet for 12 years.

McGonagall: So sad.

Hagrid: Oh well …see ya Harry!

**Chapter 2 - The Vanishing Glass**

Harry : Hi snake. How's life?

Snake: Sucks.

Harry: Yea? Me too - I think I'll free you and make this glass disappear while I laugh at Dudley and think something like this happening isn't at all odd.

Uncle Vernon: Go…Cupboard….Stay….Forever

Harry: What? Talking to snakes is completely normal.

**Chapter 3 - The Letters From No One**

Harry: Oooo! Letter for me!

Vernon: Gaiiee!!! Is not! It's just the damn Publisher's Clearing House!

Harry: Cool! Now letters are flying everywhere! I should jump up and down trying to get one rather than simply picking one up from the ground.

Vernon: We should move to the middle of the ocean on a little hut on a rock.

Door: BOOM

**Chapter 4 - The Keeper of the Keys**

Hagrid : Harry, you're a wizard.

Petunia and Vernon: Wizards suck.

Dudley: Oink

Hagrid: Lots of information on Voldemort and completely forget I told you that I was expelled.

Harry: Okay I'll ask again next year.

**Chapter 5 - Diagon Alley**

Professor Quirrel: I' N-Not E-e-vil P-Potter. The B-B-ad guys N-never S-s-studder….

Harry: Of course they don't.

Hagrid: This package is secret and does not involve you nor is it in any way important.. Also, Slytherins suck. Got that?

Harry: Ok

Mr. Ollivander: Your wand is brother to Voldemorts! Lucky You! ...Now remember that!...or don't whatever.

**Chapter 6 - The Journey From Platform Nine and Three-Quarters**

Ms. Weasly: To get on to the Platform you simply walk through that wall.

Ron: Hi! I'll be your best friend.

Hermione: Me too, but not before I'm a bossy know-it-all with busy hair and big teeth.

Malfoy: I'm your arch nemises type guy. I'm also rich and have an important father.

Neville: I'm uh.. forgetful…

**Chapter 7 - The Sorting Hat**

Sorting Hat: Ron, Hermione since you are main characters it's Gryffindor!

Harry: Not Slytherin…not Slytherin…

Sorting Hat: But you're so slytheriny!

Harry: Not Slytherin…not Slytherin…

Sorting Hat: Fine! Gryffindor! (Mumbles about stubborn eleven year olds)

**Chapter 8 - The Potions Master**

Snape: I am the Potion God! - cower before me dunderheads.

Hermione: Me? Dunderhead? But I can do no wrong!

Snape: Potter! 50 points from Gryffindor because I'm the Potion God and you are an annoying little brat!

Ron: Snape is definitely evil villain material - Let's accuse him of anything evil that happens this year.

Harry: Ok – Look - that secret package vault been broken into! Who else but Snape?

**Chapter 9 - The Midnight Duel**

Hermione: I think I'll go along to keep you out of trouble.

Neville: Hey me too! Just cause I have no where else to go …

All: Big dog! Three heads! AHHH

Harry: You don't think it could be possibly guarding something like the secret package…?

Hermione: Who cares? I would rather die than be expelled.

**Chapter 10 - Halloween**

Harry: By the way I can play quidditch now.

Wood: Of course you can - you are the main character, besides if you don't, I will knock you over the head with a beater's club!

Quirrel: I L-Let a T-Troll In! Oops I mean…T-Troll - In The D-Dungeon! (faints)

Harry : Right. Now, Ron, since it is your fault that Hermione is crying inside the particular bathroom that the troll is in, we will save her being the super-eleven-year-olds that we are!

Hermione : Thanks now I can be your friend…. Yea yea with bushy hair and big teeth.

**Chapter 11 -Quidditch**

Ron : Look! Harry's performing some quite astonishing gymnastics on his obviously cursed broom!

Hermione : Yes this must be all Snape's doing of course! ( Sets Snape on fire)

Harry : (nearly swallows snitch) MMMMmmm - tastes like chicken!

Ron : Good job Harry! Now that's talent!

Hagrid : Cough Nicolas Cough Flamel

**Chapter 12 - The Mirror of Erised**

Anonymous Gift Giver : This was your father's - now you may have it to wander the school at night! Love Professor Dumbledore Anonymous Gift Giver

Harry : Well that's friendly! Wonder who it's from…

Mirror : I show not your face but your hears desire! Straight up. No joke.

Harry : Hey look Mummy!, Daddy! Long time no see! (Harry doesn't move for the next week and a half)

Dumbledore : Ahh I see you have found the mirror. I must now move it, but if you ever run across it again, you will now be prepared - ahem - not that you will run across it again of course.

**Chapter 13 - Nicolas Flamel**

Harry : Too bad I can't remember my Chocolate Frog card that has Flamel's name on it!

Neville : Here Harry, take a look at mine!

Harry : Thanks Neville but you get no credit for this.

Snape : I'm mean, ugly, vindictive, greasy and a whole bunch of other stuff! Fear me Quirrel!

Quirrel : Y-Y-yes S-Sir

**Chapter 14 - Norbert The Norwegian Ridgeback**

Hagrid : Aww.. Cute 'wittle fluffy dragon. Can I keep him? Can I keep him?

Harry : No sorry Hagrid - We need to take him in order to keep the story going.

Hagrid : (sobbing)' k… (as Hermione and Harry hand him off..)

Filch : Caughtcha! Haha sucks to be you!

Harry : Right. Now who's suppose to be the genius in this group who conveniently DIDN'T remind us to put the cloak back on??

**Chapter 15- The Forbidden Forest**

Malfoy : See professor! They're out of bed - I told you!

McGonagall : Hey genius! You are too! That means DETENTION! DETENTION! DETENTION! DETENTION! (Does a little dance…) A MILLION points from Gryffindor (even though it's my own house) and a bunch from Slytherin!!!

Hagrid: For your detention ,(which is partially my fault anyway) I will send you four defenseless eleven year olds into the forest to face the monster killin' these unicorns

Firenze: Hi Harry, uh that was Voldemort, by the way - the rest of the centaurs think I should let him have you, but you seem okay so I'll save you.

Harry : Gee thanks

**Chapter 16 - Through the Trapdoor**

Harry : Snape's gunna steal the stone tonight! We must save it!

Hermione and Ron : K

Ron : I am a master chess player and I will sacrifice myself for you!

Hermione : I am a child prodigy and have no problem solving Snape's litte riddle! But I must go -

so have fun Harry!

Harry : So I get to battle evil Snape on my own? See now why doesn't that surprise me…

**Chapter 17 - The Man With Two Faces**

Harry : Ha! Snape! Gotcha!!!

Quirrel: Not so fast kiddo! And for the bonus round - I have a Voldemort on the back of my head for you!

Voldemorts : Hey Harry! I DESPISE you!!! Join me and you will earn my love….

Harry: Uh no thanks - I think I'll TRY and kill you now (tries then passes out)

Dumbledore : Of course I got there In time to save you Harry. A million points to Gryffindor

for no particular reason. You win the house cup! Your life still sucks though - sorry about that!

_All right R & R. If you like it, I continue.._


	2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

**Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 5 -Liner**

I just wanna say thanks to everyone who's reviewing these. This book was so easy to parody (and so fun)!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ms. Rowling for writing HP. I'm doing this all in good fun so don't take it too seriously.

**DISCLAMER - I own NOTHING. Well not nothing...I mean Harry Potter and the copyrights and stuff. **

_Moving on…Book Dos!!!_

**Chapter 1 - The Worst Birthday**

Dudley: This is your worst birthday! Te-he.

Harry: No kidding? Well squiggly pokery piggy wiggy!

Dudley: Mummy! Oh Mummy save me from the scary hedge.

Vernon: Bad Harry! You WILL NOT exist today.

Harry : Fine I'll just talk to this little elf guy.

**Chapter 2 - Dobby's Warning**

Dobby: Sir, I is just Dobby Sir. Sir, I cannot let you go back to school sir. Sir, Sir, Sir. ….

Harry: And how are you going to stop me?

Dobby: I'll smash this pudding Sir, Making Harry Potter sir look disturbed sir.

Improper Use of Magic Office: Do it again and we'll expel you MWAHHHAHAH! ( But just to let you know, it's okay to blow up your aunt if, you know, you ever have the urge..)

Hedwig: I hate soup. Really.

**Chapter 3 - The Burrow**

Ron: Come join us in our flying car! It's Back to the Burrow!

Harry: Yes please!

Ron: This is our broken down cardboard box in which seven people live. It is called The Burrow, but no one knows why.

Harry: I LOVE IT!!!!

Mrs. Weasley: GRRRRRRRRRRRR I AM SO ANGRY I COULD EXPPLLOODDEE!!! YELL YELL YELL YELL SCREAM SCREAM !!!!! Hi, Harry dear. YOU'RE NOT FAT ENOUGH! EAT NOW!

**Chapter 4 - At Flourish and Blotts**

Mrs. Weasley: Harry dear this is Floo powder. Don't cough while you are using it

Harry: D-Dia-cough-gon Alley! Hey! Knockturn alley? Yea that sounds like "D-Dia-gon.."

Lockhart –Look at me please! I am the _sexy _new DADA teacher. I have shiny teeth. I am SUCH a hotty. Only not really.

Hermione: OHHH take me NOW!

Lucius: Here little girl - have a Very Secret Diary. Take no notice that you now have _two_, count em' TWO books instead of one…

**Chapter 5 - The Whomping Willow**

Ron: Since we can't walk through the wall, the only logical thing to do is the fly a car to school because there is no way we could get in trouble for that.

Harry: Sure thing. Hey Ron, pick a tree, any tree!

Snape: Congratulations! You've picked the one that hits back! Your prize? Expulsion Expulsion Expulsion! Yay for me!

McGonagall: Sorry. But that's my call - I say…… DETENTION DETENTION DETENTION!!! (Does her little dance) That is so fun.

Gryffindors: Hey you almost got killed! That is so cool!!

**Chapter 6 - Lockhart**

Lockhart: I'm important. Annoying, yes that too, but also very ,very important.

Ron: How are you important? I'm more important than you - I'm a main character!

Lockhart: Well you don't have a chapter named after you do you? Here have some carnivorous pixies. I must go make myself pretty.

Hermione: I LOVE YOU! You are sooo handsome and important.

Ron: Oh please Hermione. (Goes and cries…)

**Chapter 7 - Mudbloods and Murmurs**

Malfoy: Because I really no good at quidditch I will just proceed to be filthy rich and call Granger a politically incorrect name - "MUDBLOOD!"

Ron: How dare you call my woman - um cough I mean Hermione, that horrible name for a muggle born and more information! I will be the hero and rescue her…somewhat. Want some slugs Hermione?

Thing inside wall: Let me rip you, tear you, kill you, and eat you!!

Harry: Yes please, Professor Lockhart, quit torturing me with this fan mail.

Ron: Just in case your wondering Harry, I barfed up slugs on a Special Award for Services to the School Trophy for Tom Riddle. I have a wonderful memory.

**Chapter 8 - The Deathday Party**

Filch: By the way everyone, I'm a squib. This probably won't be important later.

Nearly Headless Nick: I'm cranky cause I can't join a ghost clique. Please come celebrate the day I died with me, and eat food with maggots!! You'll be the LIFE of the party!! (rotten tomatoes are thrown and pass through him)

Moaning Myrtle: WHINE CRY SOB SOB!!! I live in a loo! Kill me pleaasseee….oh damn I forgot.

Thing inside wall: Let me rip you, tear you, kill you, and eat you!!

Harry: Crap! Not again. It's ALWAYS me isn't it?

**Chapter 9 - The Writing On The Wall**

Filch: Potter! You killed my cat! I'd like to personally murder you now!

Lockhart: Why now, it's obvious this cat was killed by raccoons.

Dumbledore: Shut up Lockhart, and no sorry Filch - You can't do that. We need him to eventually save the school from the wrath of ermm…J.K Rowling.

Ron & Harry: Well shall we blame it on Malfoy then?

Hermione: No we shall not - that is way to obvious. But I guess since I have nothing better to do I will use my genius brains to make a potion that will turn you two into ugly, fat slytherins.

**Chapter 10 - The Rogue Bludger**

Bludger - Harry! I would just LOVE to break your arm!!

Harry: Really, I couldn't tell.

Lockhart: Here Harry. Let me remove you bones for you. I like to show off my dangerously low IQ.

Dobby: Sir, it was me sir, who tried to kill you sir. The chamber of secrets has been opened before sir! I didn't say that sir! Feel sorry me sir as I try to injure myself sir! I am just a lowly house elf sir!

Dumbledore: A member of Harry's Fan Club has been attacked. Don't mind us Harry while we loudly explain that the chamber has indeed been opened. Da a DAA  AGAIN.

**Chapter 11 - The Dueling Club**

Harry: Hey guess what??? I can talk to snakes! And like I said last year, this isn't odd at all! Cool hey?

Ron & Hermione: Not quite.

Harry: Now Nearly Headless Nick AND Justin have been attacked. I think I'll just hang around here, even though I am a parselmouth, It's not like anyone will think I did it.

Everyone: HARRY! YOU DID IT YOU BIG MEAN HIER OF SLYTHERIN!!

Harry: Crap.

**Chapter 12 - The Polyjuice Potion**

Hat - Yes Harry, I said Slytherin. Get over it will you? (Mumbles about irritating 12 year olds)

Dumbledore: This is Fawkes, although he's not very foxy at the moment is he? Tehe. Oh yea - Do you want to tell me ANYTHING?

Harry: Oh you mean that weird voice, me speaking Parseltounge, the Heir of Slytherin, our secret polyjuice potion, (takes a breather) …the sorting hat, Moaning Myrtle, Mudbloods, etc, etc, etc? Nope not a thing.

Hermione: Harry, put in Goyle's hair, Ron, put in Crabbe's hair…and I'll put in this cat hair. Wait a minute… CAT HAIR!!! But I'm a genius! This isn't suppose to happen!!!

Ron: Me -Ow! Hermione!

**Chapter 13 - The Very Secret Diary**

Harry: His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad? Gee thanks Ginny. Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Harry finds the diary Ginny nearly has a stroke.

Ron: Tom Riddle… Hmm Tom Riddle. Does that sound familiar? Nope. Well….Nope. Give me a minute…

Tom : Hey Harry, How's it goin kid? I'm gunna pretend that I'm a perfect 16 year old who you can trust, feed you a bunch of lies and make you swallow them okay?

Harry: Do I have a choice? GULP. So Hagrid you say…

**Chapter 14 - Cornelius Fudge**

Ginny: MUSY TEAR HARRY'S STUFF APART! MUST FIND SECRET EVIL DIARY! MUST NOT LOSE MY HEAD!

Thing inside wall: Let me rip you, tear you, kill you, and eat you….eeny meeny miny mo! Hermione!! MWAHAHAHHAHA

Cornelius Fudge: C'Mon Hagrid! Singing "We're of to see the wizards! The homicidal wizards of Azkaban!"

Hagrid: THAT'S what I get in this chapter? And it's named after Fudge? Oh yea that's fair!

Malfoy : I am soo much cooler and stylish than you Dumbledore. Get out Dumbledore, you clash quite a bit with the décor of the castle. (Aside) And my blackmailed friends agree with me… Flashes a devilish smile

**Chapter 15 - Aragog**

Harry: Hello big scary looking spider thing. Where were you on the night of October 31st?

Aragog: FE FI FO FUM! I never used the girl's toilets, and I am not the monster you are looking for. However, if you want me to put you in touch with some of my friends…or erm…family (gestures to his zillions of offspring)

Ron: (Muttering to himself) Take off it's legs….take off it's legs . (Looks around) Wait - wrong book… hey look the car!

Harry: Well that was worth it. No really it was.

Ron: Yea right. Excuse me while I go puke all over Hagrid's pumpkins. He deserves it. (Muttering) Follow the spiders….and he KNEW I had a phobia!

**Chapter 16 - The Chamber of Secrets**

Hermione: Even though, right now I am petrified and cannot speak, I manage to save the day by informing Harry and Ron that a giant snake called a Basilisk is creeping around in the pipes.

McGonagall: I've just had a friendly chat with Mr. Basilik and he's informed that he's taken Miss Ginny Weasley into his company...or something unfortunate like that.

Harry: Well let's go find Lockhart. Of all the people in this school I could ask to help. He's who I chose. Don't ask me why I really couldn't tell you.

Lockhart: Smart move Harry! Now I'm going to erase your memory with Ron's clearly broken wand. Obliviate! Erm. Do you live here? These colors really clash. Who am I? The redecorator?

Harry: Okay you guys stay here while I go fight the bad guy. I really shouldn't have seen that one coming.

**Chapter 17 - The Heir of Slytherin**

Riddle: Hey! Know what else you shouldn't have seen coming? I'm EVIL!!!

Harry: Yea, there's a surprise...so uh..well let me just jam this hat on my head...ow...

Riddle: Sic him! SSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Harry: Ow er... Hey cool a sword. (starts flayling sword violently in all directions, stabs basilisk, and gets stabbed by fang. Fawkes starts crying, Harry's owie is fixed, then he has a stroke of genius and stabs diary with fang. )

Riddle: Darn. Oh well.. There's always next year! See you next time on Voldie Attempts to Kill Harry!

**Chapter 18 - Dobby's Reward**

Ginny: Guess what? I'm alive!

Dobby: Guess what? I'm free!

Dumbledore: Guess what? Gryffindor wins! Again!

Mr. Malfoy: Guess what? You suck!

Harry: Guess what? Eh..Nevermind i've got nothing.

_Lockhart – he's such a blast to parody.. "Why now, it's obvious this cat was killed by raccoons.." I love that line :).. Anyway, you know what to do!!_


	3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

**Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Five Liner **

I know I know, I'm sorry, I said I was updating and I'm still not done with this chapter! Hey – it's harder than it looks. Anyway, I promise I'll pick this up soon, but in the meantime, I like to let you see what I've got so far. I know…I'm laaaaazzzy.

And finally, for your viewing pleasure.. BOOK three!!! Well almost :)

BTW, Thanks for the awesome feedback for the first two chapters. It makes my day! I love you guys. Okay don't get scared. Yea so on with it..

**DISCLAMER - None of these characters are mine. They are all J.K Rowling's. Why does she have them ALL? Why can't I have ANY? Oh.**

_Numero tres…_

**Chapter 1 - Owl Post**

Ron: Hi Harry. Happy Birthday. I'm temporarily rich. Cool hey?

Hermione: Hi Harry. Happy Birthday. Expensive present and stuff.

Hagrid: Hi Harry: Happy Birthday. Biting book and stuff.

McGonagall: Just stuff and something unfortunate.

Harry: This is the BEST birthday EVER!!

**Chapter 2 - Aunt Marge's Big Mistake**

Aunt Marge: I'm about to make a BIG mistake.

Harry: Yes, hence the title.

Aunt Marge: Harry you suck

Harry: You just made a BIG mistake.

Aunt Marge: My bad.

**Chapter 3 – The Knight Bus**

Harry: Oh woe the pain that is my life. I shall be an outcast and everyone shall hate me. Ho hum.

Stan: Hullo Neville, Looky ere on the newspaper – SIRIUS BLACK. Think quick now – heard the name before???

Harry: Just another guy out to kill me. Or is he? Yeah he probably is.

STAN: Okay dokey Neville I shall drop you off to meet the minister who conveniently has time to meet you personally despite the fact he is the minister. How bout that eh..?

Harry: No complaints here.

**Chapter 4 – The Leaky Cauldron**

Harry: Yea! Time to shop! I'm gunna buy some robes! Yippee!

Ron: My rat is sick. Oh. Funny though, he's like twenty years old and still kickin.

Hermione: I've bought quite a small tiger. Aw in't he cuuute?? AND he likes pina coladas, getting caught in the rain. He's also very into eating wizards posing as rats.

Mr. Weasly: MOLLY, SIRIUS BLACK IS AFTER HARRY – HE WANTS TO KILL HIM, AND I AM SAYING THIS ALL RATHER QUITLY REMEMBER SO HARRY WONT HEAR!

Harry: Eh. I've heard worse.

**Chapter 5 – The Dementer**

Harry: EEKK a dementy wraithy thing!! Save me professor er…I'm-a-werewolf-but-no-one-finds-out-until-later!

Professor I'm a werewolf: Yes Harry, I've already saved you but you were too busy having a seizure to notice. Eat your chocolate now I say!

Draco: HEHE potty you little girl – you seizured and you "EEKKed" HEHEHEHE Oh jolly day.

Hermione: Oh Professor McGonagall. You want to SPEAK to me in PRIVATE? I WONDER why no one CARES. Is what I'm saying RELEVENT?

Harry: Whatever Hermione. My tortured and scarred little mind can only handle so much. It's beddy-bye time.

**Chapter 6 – Talons and Tea Leaves**

Ron: Hermione, how the giddy heck are you getting to 20 classes every day?

Hermione: I uh well just um… just NEVERMIND okay?

Trelawny: EEEKK big bad black doggie in Harry's cup. Not to scare ya or anything, but your gunna DIE DIE DIE!!!

Hermione: For once in my life I am bad at something, therefore I will proceed to call it STUPID and quit.

Buckbeak: Who you calling ugly blondie? Prepare to be maimed!!

**Chapter 7 – The Boggart in the Wardrobe**

Malfoy: Skin my shrivelly fig Potter. wink wink

Ron: Shut it Malfoy or that's not all that'll get skinned. Err. That didn't really make sense. Ah. Anyway where'd Hermione disappear to?

Hermione: Suddenly appears I didn't leave – what are you talking about??? This has _nothing_ to do with me getting to my many classes, ah, and, and… just NEVERMIND okay?

Ron and Harry: Okay.

Professor Boggart Snape: Hey don't forget about me! I'm what this chapter's all about!! Snape! In Drag!

**Chapter 8 – Flight of the Fat Lady**

Crookshanks: Sweet lord I think I smell a tasty morsel of my favorite kind.

Ron: Hermione!! That cat has it in for my extensively unreasonably long-lived ordinary common garden rat!

Professor I'm a werewolf: Harry let's have a man to werewolf chat. Voldemort! I know you loath Snape, but he makes a mean margarita -- ..er I mean potion. Hic!

Harry: Stares blankly.

Fat Lady: Catches the next 747.

**Chapter 9 – Grim Defeat**

Dumbledore: Okay kiddies! Time for a co-ed slumber party!

Many a student: Whoot!

Snape: Professor I'm a Werewolf is out sick. Bit of a hangover. 500 page essay due on werewolves. I SAID WEREWOLVES!!

Class: $#$& !!

Dementers: We're going to get you Harry! And you're little broom too!

**Chapter 10 – The Marauder's Map**

Fred & George: Hey Harry! We're plot devices placed here to give you this map that by under any normal circumstances, we would have never likely found, but since it was your Dad's and all, erm cough…We mean.. just here take it!

Harry: What? Hey nifty!

Hermione: Quick Ron, we only have a few minutes alone before the readers catch up and Harry joins us! Whatever shall we do? Alone?

Ron: Cockroach clusters!! Oh hey Harry!

Fudge: Long story short, Peter Pettigrew Good, Sirius Black Bad, James Potter doomed

**Chapter 11 – The Firebolt**

Harry: Sob

Hermione: Have some Prozac, I mean breakfast, Harry

Hagrid: Sob. Buckbead's a goner. Give me some of that breakfa – I mean Prozac Harry.

Harry: It's all good. I got a swanky new broom.

Hermione: What makes you so special that you just get free stuff? Just cause you're the boy that lived. Hmph something siriusly fishy going on…**Hhhhfd**

**Chapter 12 – The Patronus**

Boggart: Boo!

Harry: Eeekk! No wait for it… Expecto.. eeek!

Professor I'm a Werewolf: No worries, Harry. Chocolate and liquor, that'll do the trick that will. By the way, careful of those dementers, they like to suck out people's souls!

Harry: Comforting thanks Professor.

Hermione & Ron: Bicker Bicker..Crookshanks…Bicker bicker…Scabbers…Bicker bicker..sexual tension… bicker bicker

_Really, this shouldn't take long to finish. But I may as well take my time, I'll have nothing left after July…sob.. Review and I'll update!_


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